Category Archives: church signs
Other than fellowship
This could also apply to constipation and S&M.
Just like a hovercraft
Sadly, I wasn’t in a position to get a picture of this one, but I saw a church sign yesterday that read:
Our Lifeguard
Walks on Water
Well, considering that the gecko is capable of walking on water, are they trying to sell me insurance?
Or, more likely, it’s a useless talent. If you can walk on the water, it’s not going to do you a whole lot of good if he can’t get under the water to reach someone who’s, you know, drowning.
Genesis 1 disagrees
God created the oceans before separating day from night, according to Genesis 1:6-10.
Edit: if you can’t read this, it says “God’s timing is always right”
And we fuck because…
Maybe it’s an apostatic church?
I didn’t get a picture of it, but last night I saw a church sign that read “God cares more about your heart than your religion” (or something like that).
This is one of those signs that clearly demonstrates that they don’t read the bible. Doesn’t the first commandment instruct us not to have any other gods before him? (Yahweh or the highway, as I like to put it…)
Furthermore, Ezekiel 18:24-26 and 33:12-18 clearly state that apostates must be put to death.
*sigh*
So youre basically saying…
… That you prey on the weak and infirm?
There’s a much longer essay in here somewhere, but if churches like this criticizes cults for their “recruitment” practices, they really need to look in the mirror, as signs like this effectively reveal that they’re into the same kinds of practices.
Feeling fleeced yet?
Church shopping?
Of course, with all of the viable transliterations from the Hebrew alphabet, the exact opposite might be true.
And here I thought…
…
That it had something to do with the tilt of the earth’s axis…
Seriously… All of the winter celebrations have light and/or green plants to remind us that it will get warmer and the days will get longer. Before we knew why the seasons change, we did kind of have to take it on faith that they would.
