Oh, the Iniquity!

A friend of mine saw the following in a grocery store:

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For those of you who aren’t familiar with Ezekiel 4:9 (and can’t quite read it on the box itself), it reads as follows:

Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself. You are to eat it during the 390 days you lie on your side.

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(Please note that my translation is the NIV translation… The translation on the box itself appears to be the King James translation.)

Let’s ignore for a minute that neither Golden Flax nor Almond is prescribed in the recipe provided by this particular bible verse. Let’s also ignore that this is not being purchased in a storage jar, and that it is not bread that they are selling…

Think about the whole line of this verse that states that you are to eat this “during the 390 days you lie on your side.” This is more than thirteen months in this state. Is this a cereal for the hopelessly lazy? If you are to remain by and large motionless for that long, you might need the foodstuffs provided above to maintain some modicum of strength. But why would someone wish to stay in a horizontal position for such a period of time?

Just go back a few verses in this chapter and you will see. Ezekiel 4:4-5 reads as follows (NIV Translation again):

Then lie on your left side and put the sin of the people of Israel upon yourself. You are to bear their sin for the number of days you lie on your side. I have assigned you the same number of days as the years of their sin. So for 390 days you will bear the sin of the people of Israel.

(Incidentally, Ezekiel 4:6 says to lie on your right side for an additional 40 days to bear the sin of Judah, so in all, god instructed the “son of man” from Ezekiel 4:1 to bear mankind’s sins for 400 days in all…)

These are instructions for the Messiah. In other words, this is one of many biblical prophecies that foretold the coming of Jesus (a biblical personage in his own right).

Now I don’t claim to be an expert on the entire life of Jesus, and none of the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John really give us any insight into him between his birth and age 27, but none of them mention him lying on his left side for 390 days and then on his right for another 40 in order to bear the sins of the people of Israel, especially after committing a genocide (Ezekiel 4:2).

Then again, I should think that literally being forbidden from doing anything for nearly fifteen months is a huge undertaking. Far more emotionally draining than being captured, tortured, executed, and then spending three days in hell.

So, at the end of the day, do the people who buy this cereal think themselves worthy of it? Do they fashion themselves as the return of Jesus? Would they buy the Almond or Golden Flax flavor? And that price! $6.29! I can see that the makers of this cereal wish to make the consumers live amongst the poor.

And did I mention that I don’t really care for beans?

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One response to “Oh, the Iniquity!

  1. After some thought, I have come to the conclusion that this Jesus cereal is way too close to the Uncle Sam cereal. I think it would be more appropriate to put a box of Coco Puffs or Fruitloops there instead.

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